For those of you arriving here via Gwen's diarist.net interview, all of the info about Ja"y"son Saffer plagiarising and slandering Gwen can be found on this this archived page (scroll down to April 9 and then read up from there).
23 April, 2000
I lied. Ian and I just sat here reading this page, and all the links it contains, laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe and we think his hernia is now strangulated.
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I just (well, a couple of hours ago) got back from Derby. Ian didn't come with, because he's got this horrible hacking cough thing -- which, as you can imagine, is a lot of fun paired with his hernia -- and didn't want to infect his Dad, who has fragile health. Anyway, Ian's Dad (for that is what I call him) and I went shopping and out to dinner every damn day, which was a blast. He took me to Comet and offered to buy us anything we wanted/needed as a wedding present, which was way nice of him (I declined). We went to Castle Donington this morning and I got an Armani watch (um, yeah, for £30 -- I'm so sure it's real... but it's nice) and a bunch of other boring shit. Now I'm tired, but I need to get the house in order before I go down to London tomorrow to pick up Karri (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). I also haven't gotten my wedding dress or shoes yet, nor have we picked out a cake (I already discerned that there's no way I could make my own). Oh, and I have to book my train and coach for tomorrow morning.
This was the long, drawn-out way of saying that you probably shouldn't expect any entries from me until after Karri's gone home, on May 2. Soz!
21 April, 2000
I'm gone till Sunday night, so have a Peep for me come Sunday morning, and have a happy Easter/Passover.
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Here's the most disturbing site found through my referrer logs this week, for your viewing pleasure.
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I know I shouldn't want to watch this, but I'm sure I will.
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Once a wanker, always a wanker.
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I've never seen an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel (don't shoot), but I think it's pretty sad that David Boreanz isn't above selling his autograph for £20 a pop. Classy!
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Iain Lee should bloody well be in hiding, considering how lame his attempts at humour are -- not to mention his tendency to laugh at his own 'jokes'. Just last night, Ian (my boyfriend, not Iain Lee) said to me, 'You know, not only are those two [Lee and his partner Daisy Donovan] painfully unfunny, but they don't seem to realise it.' Needless to say, neither of us are very upset about this latest development.
20 April, 2000
Funniest line from an email this week:
I'll let you know what kind of hoopty John gets. - my Dad, on my younger brother's quest for a new car
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A kind of lengthy but very cool story:
About four years ago, I 'met' this guy called David online. An Englishman at law school in Texas, he wrote the funniest, most insightful emails I've ever read, about all manner of things. David and I became good friends, and one day he wrote me this email about a girl in one of his classes; he told me about how pretty, intelligent and witty she was, and how he desperately wanted to go out with her. He was a bit uncertain over whether he should ask her out, since he'd have to go back to England in a couple of months and thought it would suck if they ended up hitting it off and then he had to leave. I -- in my supreme wisdom -- advised him not to worry about all that, and to just ask her out. So he did, and they fell in love. When I moved over here a couple of years ago, I (purely by coincidence) settled in a place not 2 miles from his hometown, and he and I met up at Merry Hill for a meal, where I was pleased to find that he was as funny and cool in person as he was on email. Over lunch, he told me that he was going to propose. The other day, David and Molly got married -- you can see photographic evidence here. I'm so happy for them it's not even funny -- despite the fact that they beat Ian and me to the altar -- and I'm really glad I didn't tell David to forget about the girl he had a crush on, because... who knows. I'm sure it wouldn't have been possible without my counsel... right? Anyway, they're both wonderful people who I don't think will end up divorced in 9 months time, so I thought I would share this with you. If you've read this far, ta; if you haven't, go shit in a hat.
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I have way too much crap to get done today (hence, I am messing around online), but you can rest assured that I'll be taking a half hour break tonight, so that I can watch Sid Owen's last episode of Eastenders. I remember always thinking how fugly he was, but he's actually gotten kind of... not hideous in the past year, and I think he's a really good actor. Too bad he's about to make us all cringe with his new career in pop, but I'll love him for now.
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So Janet Reno wants kids to learn cyber-ethics. Seems fairly harmless, but I think she's an idiot if she thinks these kids don't realise what they're doing is, you know, wrong.
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The side of free speech which is a bit harder to stomach: a website set up by supporters of a guy convicted of murdering his foster daughter. I've followed this case pretty closely, and seen all of this guy's appeals laughed out of the courts, so I can only hope that no fools send him any money for his defense.
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Okay, so maybe it's not a boy. I do think it's laughable of Madonna to request that everyone just forget about this whole thing when she's been giving interviews to the tabloids over here, being all coy about whether she's going to get married and everything else we're supposed to give two shits about; I mean, manipulate the media if you must, but at least be consistent.
19 April, 2000
Happy birthday to Plaintive Wail. I linked to it on the other page, but I just re-read Stee's birthday entry and sprayed spittle all over my screen, so I think it's worth linking to again. Seriously, guys, all I have to do is think about some of the stuff on there and I lose it. Stee rules.
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How bad of an actress is Winona Ryder (or, as I affectionately refer to her, Wannaryder)? My contempt for her knows no bounds. So I quite enjoyed Fametracker's Galaxy of Fame this week. 'Girl, With Rug Swept Out From Under Her By Her Co-Star', indeed.
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It's a boy. Or at least that's what's all over the papers over here. Despite my cynicism of a superstar Anglophile getting knocked up by a Brit, reports of which were coincidentally timed -- or so they'd have us believe -- to coincide with the release of her latest film, to make no mention of the fact that the kid will be born just as the father's latest film is being released, I can't help but be a little bit excited about any happy baby news. Sorry.
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I don't find South Park as amusing as I once did, but I still hope that Matt and Trey don't jump ship to one of the big three and cancel the show altogether. If they were under contract to an ABC or a CBS, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be able to get away with half the crap they do on Comedy Central.
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Is it just me, or is Billy Bob Thornton gross? I seriously do not understand what Angelina Jolie sees in him, or why he was so irresistable to her that she started seeing him while he was still engaged and living with Laura Dern. Then again, she did date Timothy Hutton, so her taste in men is questionable.
18 April, 2000
Another reason why today has been good for me: My Dad emailed me to say that the cancer that it was previously thought had spread from our dog -- Chelsea's -- leg to her lymph nodes, is actually now confined only to her leg, and can probably be treated with radiation. I love Chelsea, so this is the best news I've had all day. And now I'm going to bed -- 'night, homies.
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Today was bomb-ass. Go read why, if you don't mind me being happy instead of annoyed.
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I hope that no one gleans from my previous post that I think all Americans are stupid. I rarely use absolutes like 'all,' with good reason: some of my best friends are American, as are both of my parents, my brothers... and me. So, no, I don't think all Americans are stupid, but these ones sure are, for smashing their TVs in an effort to kill a bug on an Orkin Pest Control commercial, and then trying to sue Orkin for damages. Thanks to Metafilter for the link.
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Thank God for the Internet, because otherwise I wouldn't have any idea how glad I should be that I don't live in America anymore. Take, for instance, the trend of simplifying one's life. I believe this 'movement' comes to us courtesy of Oprah, which should tell you all you need to know about the sort of people who are espousing 'the simple life'. Now, there's a magazine -- whose art direction seems wholly ripped off from Martha Stewart Living -- devoted to giving you the straight dope on how you too can live this life of simplicity and minimalism. It would seem to involve tea that costs $224 a pound, cashmere sweaters for your newborn and $198 suede, dry-clean-only skirts. To see this magazine, whose title -- RealSimple -- is both grammatically incorrect and unintentionally ironic, ripped further to shreds, check out this excellent critique by deborah.
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I like Leelee Sobieski, but I hope her uncanny resemblance to Helen Hunt doesn't distract people from how talented she is, especially compared to her peers. Like, say, Natalie Portman: very pretty, but not what one would call a great actress (go ahead, flame me -- I live for it). I'm glad to see that Fametracker agrees.
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You know what you can do while I hunt up some good links? Go read this David Sedaris piece, and then try and tell me that he's not funny and clever and that you don't want him to be your friend.
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I just moved all of the entries for the past 10 days to this page, including all of the stuff about how Gwen rocks the universe and Ja"y"son Saffer merely stinks it up. Hold up while I get y'all some links.
