I know this page is probably taking forever to load for y'all, but I seriously don't have time to re-organise and archive things right now. I have to go do wedding stuff, and the sun just came out so I need to use my five minute allowance of non-crappy weather to make it to the train station un-waterlogged (not a word, I'm sure). Be back later, yo.
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17 April, 2000
You know, I haven't seen an episode of The View for over 2 years, but all of the presenters STILL get on my last nerve. I've been following the brouhaha over Lisa Ling, and damned if I didn't agree 100% with this scathing commentary. Thanks to Weetzie Bat for the link.
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Speaking of New Labour... Fight for the right to latté -- hee!
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This morning, as I ate my breakfast, Ian came in the room, made a face at me and told me that I was stinking up the place. Or rather, that my breakfast was. For some reason, I've been eating a particular mix of salad (wild lettuce, red chard, radicchio, shredded beetroot, tomatoes and cucumber slices, doused with balsamic vinegar and olive oil) about three times a day, even for breakfast. I thought it was odd that I'd practically lived on this stuff for the past week or so, until I read this: it turns out that wild lettuce (also known as rabbit lettuce) is a legal, psychedelic drug. So I'm addicted to lettuce. How very New Labour. I do have to say, though, that one would have to be very desperate indeed to smoke banana skins, directions for which are detailed on the same page. I'm sure that pot is almost as cheap as bananas are these days, isn't it? Informed readers, let me know.
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This just in: waifish supermodel loves to take baths with other women, Spice Girl involved in a sham romance, and Geri Halliwell is only paying lip service with her outspoken stance on safe sex. Um, thanks a lot for the shocking 'news,' Mr Tabloid Man.
16 April, 2000
Today, I ordered my ring (sapphire surrounded by diamonds in a gold setting, which I've been questioning the wisdom of ever since I picked it out), got a few other rings and three pairs of earrings -- diamond studs -- because somebody loves me, helped Ian pick out some new clothes, did the shopping while he filled the cart with junk, coloured my hair (now back to its original dark brown) and now I am tired. So I'll be back tomorrow morning, way before any of you lazy people in the EST zone are even awake, let alone shirking your responsibilities at work (or school) and looking at this site. In my absence, entertain and educate yourselves with The Speech Patterns of Highly Effective People, brought to you by Tawdry Little Shrine, a seriously funny site done by Hissyfit's own Toenail Assassin, and some guy called Scott, whose journal entries have given me a wee crush on him. I'm gonna go to bed and try to have dreams about the guy, so you go read them, now.
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I love to loathe Oprah as much as anyone, but this is kind of, well, stupid. On the one hand, freedom of speech; on the other hand, she. Signed. The. Contract. End of story.
15 April, 2000
If you've been reading this site for a while and still have no idea who the hell I am or who the people I talk about are, read this.
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I got new contacts today, because I'm sick of my glasses and don't care if my boyfriend prefers them. I also found a wedding ring that I want, but I'm sure I don't want it as much as a house in the country, which I could easily purchase for the same amount of money. And, to top off my day (yes, it is only 1.30pm), I went bra shopping. It was... not fun. If you think bras in America are expensive, multiply the cost by 1.8 and you'll be shocked -- as was I -- at the realisation that I spent $90 on two bras. I'm so glad Sars (of Tomato Nation), wrote a piece for Underwired about this very subject: the horrors of the bra -- specifically, Victoria's Secret. Sars is, as per usual, right on target and terrifically funny, so go check it out.
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Okay, people, listen up: Brian Beaudoin has e-mailed me, complaining that I 'misrepresented [his] statements' -- made in response to my query as to whether or not he would accept signed statements as evidence -- on this site, 'undermining [his] efforts' by doing so. I did ask him in a previous e-mail to review what I'd posted here and advise me if any changes whatsoever needed to be made, and told him that I would be happy to make them. As that request went unanswered, I will quote from the email on which I based my directions to you all to send him signed and dated letters pertaining to when you viewed the articles in question on Gwen's site:
I replied on April 11, 2000 to the lawyer who contacted me about this "We would accept signed letters from witnesses, signed affidavits, authenticated copies of legal documents, etc. and will keep that information on file". Our policy is that if a history can be shown, we reserve the right to remove the user.
My only aim is to present the truth, and if Mr Beaudoin feels that I have misrepresented his words on this site, I regret that. I will leave it to you to read his words, as quoted above, and decide whether or not they have been misrepresented by me, as well as send him signed and dated letters as you see fit.
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Thanks to Jeanene for pointing out to me that the US Patent Office's database contains no copyrights or trademarks issued to Ja"y"son Saffer and/or Blue Skies Multimedia. Also, please feel free to use their search utility to see for yourself. Here is his list of supposed copyrights, of which the US Patent Office has no record -- strange, that! And, contrary to what Schmolene states on his website, one cannot copyright an idea. Funny that his 'lawyers' haven't mentioned that to him, eh? You'd almost think he didn't have any...
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Brian Beaudoin has e-mailed me to say that he will accept signed letters from witnesses who can say with absolute, 100% certainty that they viewed the articles Jason Saffer stole from Gwen on HER website, prior to June of 1999, as proof that the work has been plagiarised. If you could specify the earliest month and year that you viewed those pages, that would be even more helpful. And if you know a notary public, I'd love you if you'd have the letter notarized. Please direct all SIGNED and dated letters to:
Brian Beaudoin
c/o Lambda.Net
PO Box 55409
Atlanta, GA 30308-5409
Also, it would help if you could email me and/or Gwen when you have sent your letter, so that we have a record of exactly how many Mr Beaudoin should receive.
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It is very much worth noting that WHOA has asked Jason Saffer to remove their organisation's name from his site, in reference to him and his plea for donations to his 'legal fund'. It would appear that Ja"y"son has realised the futility of this plea and removed all references to this 'legal fund' from his site. I'm so glad I saved it to my hard disk, though, so that those who would like to read his accusations of stalking, harassment and threats may do so by emailing me.
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Oh, also: Ja"y"son still has Gwen's work on her site.
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I'm so shocked that Jason Saffer removed the nude photos of himself and the open root directory that was exposed on his site.
14 April, 2000
Tracey Emin's artwork has gone from pushing the envelope to becoming a collection of self-parodies. The question of what constitutes 'art' is, of course, subjective, but I do wish she could be a bit more creative than merely offering up whatever's guaranteed to get her in the papers.
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For those of you who may have read the text of Brian Beaudoin's email to me on his company's website and were disappointed that he didn't post my response, you can go here to read the complete text of both messages.
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The more I think about the possibility that some sad soul might actually heed Ja"y"son's plea for money, the more angry it makes me. As the saying goes, a fool and his money are soon parted, but that's not what pisses me off: I am livid that someone is trying to make a buck by claiming they're being 'stalked,' implicating ME and some people who I consider to be friends as stalkers (I live 3000 miles away and on another continent, for Pete's sake!) and attempting to make a mockery of WHOA and all genuine victims of stalking, all because he has neither the talent nor the intelligence to make an honest living from his own work. My only comfort is that this person has to live with himself, knowing every second he draws breath is another second he lives life as a thief, a liar and a fraud. (And I haven't even mentioned how small his penis is -- you can see it in the photos he put on the web, here and here -- if you're not squeamish. Or, if you've been thinking of a career change, fill out his online application to star in his porn films.) All things considered, it really must suck to be him.
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I had hoped that, with the removal from his site of the pages he plagiarised from Gwen, this whole deal was finally over. But in an unsurprisingly lame and desperate display (some would say an ill-advised stab at retaining some dignity after being exposed as a thief), Ja"y"son Saffer is begging people for money for his 'legal fund'. For what, pray tell, does he need a legal fund? One cannot sue someone for expressing their opinions, whether he likes it or not -- something a lawyer (if he had one) would be happy to explain to Mr Saffer. And I'm sure that WHOA will not be pleased to learn that someone is trying to bogusly portray themselves as a victim of '[s]talk[ing], [h]arass[ment] and [t]hreats,' making a mockery of the good work they do for genuine victims of online violence. You can use their online form to let them know the real story behind Jason Saffer -- please direct your comments to Katherine Griffis and/or Doug Muth via the form or your email client. Listen, Schmolene: since the police have already told you point-blank that no crimes have been committed against you, listen to them and give it up already. It's one thing to steal someone else's intellectual property, and yet another to steal attention and money from bona fide victims of abuse. Thanks to Jen for the heads-up.
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I can't believe it: a Tory MP finally said something I can wholeheartedly agree with, and he gets a reprimand. And, call me crazy, but I find it curious that the newspapers are happy to print the word 'bullshit,' but represent the word 'pillock' with 'p******' and 'crap' as 'c***'. Maybe it's a Brit thing.
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According to Bret Easton Ellis, Lions Gate Films is trying to negotiate with him for rights to produce a series of films featuring Patrick Bateman, the Wall Street murderer of his book (and Mary Harron's film) American Psycho. I can't wait till this comes out (24 April in the UK), and I love to see people's fortunes make an about face, as Ellis' have: remember all the crap he took when the book was published? I'm sure he's crying all the way to the bank.
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I'm very unsurprised that Rosie O'Donnell is pissing more and more people off by the minute; she does have rather a knack for it.
13 April, 2000
BIG, HAPPY NEWS: Ja"y"son Saffer has FINALLY removed from his website the pages he plagiarised from Gwen! Now, we do the happy dance! He had a go at writing a convincing excuse at why he pulled them, but not quite convincing enough, eh? Go, Gwen!
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I'll get right on those links after I drop off a sample (no, not sperm) at the doctor, force Ian to go to the hospital (he aggravated his hernia by being stupid and picking up a very heavy monitor) and then hope he's in a fit state to go check out the wedding venue this afternoon. When will boys learn that they don't have to lift heavy objects to make us love them? Anyway, we also have to pick out our wedding cake (Ian would like to go the American Beauty route, while I'd prefer something like this) and both of our wedding bands. If you hear a giant sucking sound today at around 2pm GMT (9am EST), that'll be Ian parting with more money than my life is worth. I'm pretty excited.
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Today I'm going to make a concerted effort to get back into posting some links that don't have anything to do with Gwen's articles being plagiarised by an illiterate, cross-eyed thief. Like, say, this one. It was actually written by Gwen, but it wasn't one of the articles stolen by the aforementioned freak. It is, however, all about boobies. Go on, you know your interest is piqued.
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Every day, I hope I won't see the same Parallax IP in my logs that's been popping up for the last week, but every day it's there again.
12 April, 2000
Oh, Lord. As if America needed yet another reason to avoid television.
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His grip on reality loosening even further, Jason Saffer tried to file a criminal police report against me in Alexandria, Virginia. As the very nice detective who emailed me put it, I -- for one -- have committed no criminal offense(s), so I would suggest that Mr Saffer spend his time at this site, which was coincidentally designed by Carly's boyfriend! Good job, E!
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Thanks to everyone who sent Ian birthday email; I believe his comment was, 'Maybe the people who read your site aren't such freaks after all.' But don't take it personally: he's like that with everyone.
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Well, the hilarity does continue, people (settle in for a lengthy rant). From lambda.net's owner (who is either seriously deluded or likes all the hits his company is getting out of their hosting of stolen material):
In order to take steps against a user for copyright violations, we must have sufficient proof or documentation to show that the complaint against the user is valid. A dated hard copy that could be verified through such means as a notary stamp, a postmark [snip]
Wait a second. You're saying that unless one has each and every page of their work printed and notarized, or printed and mailed to themselves in an envelope whose seal they don't break, then they have no proof that said work is their own? I think not. The articles Gwen wrote, and their HTML coding, which -- what a coincidence! -- has also been copied by Jayson Saffer, were saved in a tangible form on her hard drive, long before they were stolen from her website by Jayson and claimed as his own work. I believe a primer in copyright is in order for the owner of lambda.net and Jayson Saffer himself, neither of whom seem to have any qualms about stealing -- in addition to Gwen's work -- images from MTV and their website, going so far as to proclaim: 'The images of this page are used without permission'. To educate yourself on copyright, I recommend What is Copyright?, a page which also points out that intangible ideas may NOT by copyrighted, contrary to what Jayson Saffer claims on this page, the comedic quotient of which is far outweighed by the fact that the same person who capitalises random words in almost every sentence they actually DO write cannot possibly be the same person who wrote the grammatically impeccable, clever and intelligent articles they claim as their own work. Anyone who cannot see that for themselves is either severely deluded, in denial or just plain stupid. In this case, I believe it's all three.
We have sufficient information to date Jayson's work in the form of backups, archival copies of our user's directories, and system logs
Didn't you just say that works must be notarised or have some postmark in order for you to consider them sufficient evidence? Do you have dated copies of the exact html of the pages in question which pre-date the dates when Gwen wrote her articles and saved them to her hard drive? I'll think -- nay, I KNOW -- you'll find that you do not.
Again, I just have to ask the discerning reader to contrast the profile page Jayson Saffer wrote (we think!) about himself -- also note crossed eyes in photo; looks like it wasn't just a gag he does when all dolled up -- with this article he stole from Gwen. Now, really, would the same illiterate who claims to have a degree in a subject whose name he cannot spell (for the record, Jayson, it's spelled 'floristry,' not 'floristery') really know what the word 'aesthetically' means, let alone how to spell it or use it in a sentence? The volumes of email I've gotten on this subject tells me that my readers (Gwen's fans among them) know the answer to that; sadly, the owner of lambda.net is not so astute (Mr Knight and Mr Saffer, you can look that one up at dictionary.com).
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A quote from lambda.net's owner -- who is letting his reputation and that of his business be sullied over a thief and a fraud -- about the copyright-violating site his company hosts:
Jolene has recently been accused of stealing someone else's work for her website. Her site, Jolene's Trailer Park Haven, has been hosted on our servers for years and she has documentation to support the ownership of her materials.
Documentation? Please elaborate. I find it interesting that, according to this information from Network Solutions, his site only came into creation on October 7, 1999, and yet this man contends that they've hosted it for years. As this is clearly not the case, does he have any proof as to when the stolen articles were uploaded to his server? I think he'll find that it was some time after they were first published by Gwen on her site.
I have been contacted by a representative for the other party who claims to be a lawyer (although she has not stated whether or not she is or will be representing the other party),
Wait -- run that by me again? You say you've "been contacted by a representative for the other party," but that she has not stated whether or not she is, indeed, a representative of the other party. THIS is the kind of logic that has you defending a thief and his plagiarism.
11 April, 2000
Someone please pick me up off of the floor, where I have been writhing in laughter-induced pain for the past 10 minutes. You're not gonna believe this shit. The plagiariser who stole Gwen's work and tried to pass it off as his own has, shall we say, insufficient funds in his clue account. Specifically, check out the ideas for which he claims he owns copyright. In the words of Mr Parsons, my attorney, "It's helpful when they play into your hands, isn't it?" Straight up, dawg.
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I got a two-line response (via snail mail) from my MP over this whole deal. Ian got the post and was like, "Uh, you have some really cool envelope (see below) and a letter from Parliament. Maybe they want you to take over while Blair's on maternity leave."
See, when he tries to be funny, he's just not. But I love him anyway.
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Oh my gosh! Michael, of Wertzateria sent me the most incredible package in the mail, which I got today. He stuffed an ultra-cool envelope (covered in his drawings) with tons of samples of his art, loads of stickers with his illustrations on them, and a teensy book of illustrations. I'm going to frame this stuff and put it up in my house; it's amazing! Thank you to Michael for being such a generous guy and sharing his talent with me (and the clients who pay him big bucks for his work, heh); he's also in two bands, one of which was featured in the film Dogma. You guys should scoot over to his site now and sample his wares for yourself.
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And a couple of other things:
- Happy Birthday to Ian! He's pretty miserable about it, though.
- You can read about his misery and me, here.
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It's 5.41am and I really need to go to bed and catch an hour or so of sleep before I start my day, but I just wanted to say a huge word of thanks to Beth, Pamie and every single person who has talked about this thief in their blogs, journals and online forums, urging people to take action against a no-hoper trying to make a buck off of someone else's work. I've had over 1000 hits on my site since 1pm EST today, 400 or so coming from Beth's site alone, so if even a fraction of those people have emailed or called The Roseanne Show, that's a true testament to Gwen's talent, which no fourth-rate drag queen who couldn't graduate from Hooked on Phonics can ever take away from her. Thanks also to the owners of Hissyfit and Hip Mama for letting Gwen's fans use the forums to mobilise people to take action.
10 April, 2000
Wow, this guy is even more mentally impaired than I previously thought: He sent me an email ordering me to remove all references to him and his plagiarism from this site! Oh, how we (Ian and I) laughed.
Chance would be a fine thing, mate.
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All right, I lied. Check out the caption under Jude Law's picture. Hee!
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Guys, I'm pretty pre-occupied with trying to nail this loser (see below) to the wall, so forgive me if I don't post loads of links this evening. If you're bored, entertain yourselves by reading (or re-reading, as the case should be) all of Gwen's hilariously clever writing. Call me an ass-kisser if you like (and I'm shocked no one hasn't), but she's brilliant. Also, one look at the correspondence that this Jayson character has been sending her will tell you all you need to know about his level of intelligence and writing skill, especially when contrasted with the material he stole from Gwen and posted as his own, which is impeccably written. Hopefully, for Gwen's sake, this will all be resolved soon. Please email The Roseanne Show and warn them not to air this fraud's appearance on her show, and call them at 1-877-973-7000 and air your grievance with giving international publicity to confessed plagiarists.
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Okay, so this asshole who's ripping off Gwen's site is actually going to be on The Roseanne Show to publicise his plagiarism this week! Of course, he'll be lying and saying it's his own work, as unimaginative people are wont to do. I'm so pissed off about this, so I can only imagine how Gwen feels. If you're in the US, please call The Roseanne Show at 1-877-973-7000 and email them at roseanne@kingworld.com to let them know that if they air the show on which he appears, they will be falling for another fake guest, as seen on Jerry Springer, Jenny Jones, et al. As Kristin has pointed out, talk shows don't take kindly to that, and hopefully they will pull this show and stop this person from getting any (more) glory out of Gwen's work and talent. Many thanks also to John Scalzi and Juan for their help and suggestions, which are very much appreciated by Gwen and her fans (like moi).
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9 April, 2000
Holy shit! Some idiot transvestite (seriously, he is) who wants stabbing has totally ripped off Gwen's totally brilliant site! Like, they plagiarised whole articles that she wrote years ago. I'm so mad! Needless to say, I emailed this punk and told him how lame he is. I'm steamed!
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Another reason the tabloids are stupid: a story on a celeb wedding that took place yesterday, in the same issue as a 'scoop' revealing said wedding will take place in October. Yes, I'm stupid to even read the online versions of these things, but I really can't resist.
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I'm no monarchist, but this is really cute.
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Do you really need a Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? album? No, neither do I. Please tell me who buys this kind of crap.
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I love Johnny Vaughan anyway, but even more now that he's taking the piss out of the tabloid press, in their own pages, and they don't even realise it! That link gave me my first hearty laugh of the day, so that alone should make you go read it.
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According to supermarket chain Tesco, fruit and vegetable sales have increased by 21% due to so many people being inspired by TV presenter Vanessa Feltz's weight loss. It's odd, because before she lost weight, all anybody ever had to say about her was that she was annoying and shouldn't be on TV; now that she's gone from a size 28 to a size 12, she can do no wrong. Though it's not difficult to see what's going on here, I still think it's really great that she's happier with herself and thus is no longer pining for her asshole of a husband (who cheated on her and told her to drop her excess weight or he would walk; he walked anyway), and I'm not surprised that people would be inspired by it.
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Off the top of my head, I can think of at least eleven (yes, 11) pubs that are within a 3 minute walk from my house. With the help of this site, I now know which 5 are the closest! I'm sure this information will come in handy when Karri gets here...
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Brian May, of the band Queen, is reportedly in rehab because he's addicted to his partner, ex-Eastenders star Anita Dobson. I would laugh, had I not been in a relationship several years ago which probably warranted the intervention of a shrink... or a lobotomist.
8 April, 2000
As per Cecily's suggestion, I changed the way the fonts on this page are set up. Now it's Arial, Georgia, Trebuchet MS, Geneva. Anyone have any problems with this? Please email me and advise, because I don't regularly use a Mac, and I dunno what you people like, or don't like, unless you let me know. Ta.
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I realise it's too late to be asking this, but should I have filled out one of these? I don't actually live there anymore, so I don't think so.
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7 April, 2000
Ew, nast! I have no idea how such an ugly person ever got on TV, let alone had their ego elevated to the point where they consider a film career a viable option. Ick, ick, a thousand times ick.
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Because Jane sucks so bad and Sassy is no more, I give you Sissy, the lost issue (and last issue, which never made it to press) of Sassy, produced in cahoots with ex-Sassy staffers. Yes, two links for Richard's site (make that 3) in one day, but if any site deserves it, it's his. Plus he sent me cool stickers in the mail, and I love him.
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Prince Charles has his own brand of foods here in the UK, called Duchy Originals, that are all organic and produced from ingredients grown at his farm at Highgrove. They're really expensive (about $7 for a box of cookies), but they're equally as good. If you want some -- in exchange for some Tang, which I can't get here -- give me a shout.
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From my favourite kool kid psychiatrist, Richard, the same guy who brought you Gay or Eurotrash?, I now give you Lesbian or German Lady?. Not many people know this, but I hear that if the Conservatives hadn't kept Clause 28 alive, Labour would have been making this game mandatory for all children aged 3 and up! I promise, Richard Littlejohn said it so it must be true.
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I'm very, very scared. And I've always wondered: who the hell named their kid 'Wink'? Circus people?
